Dear Megan: You Don't Have To Do It All

A letter to my future self...

May 20, 2025

As you might have noticed I haven’t posted as much as usual lately.

Recently I returned to work full time after a year off with my baby. I am incredibly privileged in the UK to be able to take a full year just to focus on my family, and when I had some quieter moments I was also able to work on my writing as well.

Not loads, but enough to feel like it was still bubbling away in the background.

It was a wonderful year. For the first time I felt like I was exactly where I needed to be, doing exactly what I wanted to be doing. I didn’t feel that constant division within myself. Career vs Writing.

It’s ironic really because I thought motherhood would create a bigger identity shift than it did. But I found myself feeling more like myself than I have done in years. It was wonderful, freeing, and I felt like I had finally gotten things in order…

Then I returned to work.

Suddenly the division is back, but add on on top of it mum guilt, unpredictable mornings, non existent evenings and weekends that are so fulfilling from a family point of view, but leave very little room for quiet writing time.

Here's the thing: I’ve genuinely enjoyed returning to work. I love my career, and I’m fortunate to have a great team and the flexibility to work from home. It’s been rewarding to sink my teeth into projects that deliver immediate, tangible results, something that, let’s be honest, can be harder to achieve with writing.

But that doesn’t mean it’s easy.

So I decided not to do a traditional ‘Dear Megan’ post this week (where someone else asks me a questions and I answer it). It felt kind of disingenuous to be handing out advice right now.

Instead I will be giving myself a little bit of advice. A sort of public pep talk if you will about how to get back into the swing of things.

Who knows, maybe it will also resonate with you.

Dear Megan: You don’t have to do it all

This is the advice I’m giving myself right now.

But even as I write this, a little voice whispers to me…

Maybe you can. Maybe you just need to get up a little earlier or be more disciplined in your lunch breaks.

This sort of thinking is so insidious. IIt likes to tell me that the problem lies with me. That, if I just had a bit more discipline or motivation or drive, I would be able to finish what I started.

But since I have returned to work, I have realised something… with all the will in the world, there are only 24 hours in the day.

That’s it. 24 hours. 1,440 minutes. 86,400 seconds.

You can’t create more time. You also can’t bully yourself into being more productive. And you can’t do it all, if doing it all means bending the laws of science to fit what is essentially three jobs into one.

But where does that leave you when everything feels important?

That’s the real challenge, isn’t it? It’s not that you’re not doing enough, it’s that everything is vying for your attention, and something has to give.

Defining the Priorities

When I first fell pregnant, I made a list of everything on my plate and picked the top five. I cancelled everything else.

When I gave birth, I whittled it down to three.

But then as I settled into my new normal, I started piling things back on. Slowly at first, but then as I returned to work the list suddenly became longer and longer.

I wrote my list again recently and honestly? I felt tired just reading it. I know I need to redefine my priorities, again, but maybe this time, instead of thinking of balance as something I need to achieve every single day, I need to think of it as something I can work toward in the long run. Maybe some days, work will take priority, and other days, writing will. The key is being flexible and finding what works right now.

A boss of mine once told me, “You can have a work-life balance, just not every day.” Maybe that’s the mindset I need to adopt: focusing on the long-term, while allowing myself a little flexibility from day to day.

Time Blocking

Many years ago, I used to dole out the very well meaning advice: try setting your alarm an hour earlier so you can get up and write.

And honestly, it’s not terrible advice. I still find that the first hour of the day is my best writing time. In fact, I woke up at 5:30 this morning, and by 6:45, I had already written a thousand words.

But here’s the thing: giving advice like that without considering each person’s unique situation is a dangerous thing. For some, 5 a.m. just isn’t going to work. And for others, even if they set an early alarm, they may not be in the right mindset to write, especially if they’ve been up with a crying baby or running errands all day.

What’s been more effective for me is something I call “time-blocking.”

So far, I’ve been doing three blocks a day: 90 minutes in the morning, an hour at lunch, and another 90 minutes in the evening.

Not only am I blocking this time but I’m also being mindful of what is the best use of those blocks. So mornings are always my most productive, so that is my non negotiable writing time. Lunchtimes I am in my work mindset so that is more deep work/ blogging time or time spent on work adjacent community activities. Evening, when I would be scrolling anyway while getting baby asleep (and to be honest, I’m half asleep myself) are spent on more social/ admin tasks that I can do from my phone.

And here's what I'm not doing: I’m not stressing about how much I have to get done during these blocks. If I hit 250 words, that’s fantastic. If I hit 1,000, even better. If I write a post for Substack and get it out the door, that’s a win. Every little step forward counts.

Done is Better than Perfect

My husband and I have this mantra when it comes to parenthood: Done is better than perfect.

Life is busy. It’s unpredictable. I can’t do everything. But I can prioritise what matters most to me and do my best with the time I have. And when I do those things, they’re not perfect.

And that’s okay.

I’m learning that perfectionism doesn’t serve me. In fact, it keeps me stuck, constantly aiming for a standard that doesn’t allow me to make progress. Perfectionism creates an illusion of control, but in reality, it’s a trap.

So, I’m letting go of the need to do it all perfectly. I’m learning to embrace what’s “done” as enough, and I’m letting that be okay.

I can’t do everything. I shouldn’t even trying to do everything. But that doesn’t mean I have to give everything up that is important to me.

I need to prioritise.

I need to be flexible on those priorities.

I need to protect my time.

It’s not about doing it all. It’s about doing what matters most that day/ week/ month and finding peace in that balance.

I’m learning, slowly but surely, that when you focus on what matters you get to where you need to go in the long run.

Did this resonate with you? Do you have some of your own advice for me?

Let me know in the comments ⤵️